Vibram Fitness Portal; Yosemite Firefalls; Random Shots of Beauty

A couple of quick announcements before some pleasant weekend viewing before another announcement that took me completely by surprise … I know, it sounds confusing, but stick with me – it will makes sense by the time we’re done.

First, the announcements:

1. You’ve still got a few more days to get Patagonia Fall 2011 gear at 50% off from the company website. I’ve advertised this already, so I don’t need to say anything else on this one except that the sale ends on Feb 27th, so get going.

2. Yesterday I was contacted by a Vibram rep in hopes of promoting the company’s new fitness resource portal. Honestly, Vibram was kind of late to the game of providing comprehensive barefoot running instruction, as VIVOBAREFOOT and Merrell have long since been providing that service. However, Vibram’s portal is unique in that it provides information not just on running, but all varieties of barefoot fitness activities – and for what it’s worth, FiveFingers seem to be taking over the Crossfit / general fitness communities in the same manner that they’ve swept through the running community lately. And if that’s not enough to get you to click over, the site also features a pretty hardcore trainer who looks something like a female Tarzan.


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As for your weekend viewing: this time of year is part of a remarkably short window of opportunity to see one of the most unique and wondrous natural phenomena that Yosemite National Park has to offer: the illusion of fire tumbling down Horsetail Fall off of El Capitan. Of course, seeing it requires being in the park in the middle of the cold, snowy winter, which, um … isn’t really my thing. That’s why I’m happy that people make videos like the one that follows.

It’s part of the fantastic “Yosemite Nature Notes” series, and also makes reference to a discontinued man-made occurrence in the park that created a fall of fire – in this case, actual burning embers cascading down the granite cliff. It’s somewhat bizarre to think that the Fire Fall was one of the most popular attractions in the park, but a nice reassurance to think that smarter policies finally prevailed.


"Yosemite Nature Notes: Horsetail Fall" (click to play):





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Finally, this weekend’s Random Shot of Beauty is one that was absolutely unexpected:

A gymnasium that was the site of today’s Lyceum Spelling Bee, where my 5th-grade daughter prevailed over the champions from every elementary school in Monterey County. Newer readers might need a reminder that I’m something of a freak when it comes to spelling bees, so to say I was excited about this development is a bit of an understatement.



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Letters and Numbers

I need to make a habit of checking my calendar more carefully.

This weekend marks the confluence of two events of nearly equal significance in my (admittedly somewhat warped) mind: the Scripps National Spelling Bee Friday morning and evening, and a 100K ultra in Santa Barbara on Saturday.


Despite the fact that those two events fall on different days, the proximity of one relative to the other makes it impossible for me to be fully “in the moment” with either one of them. On Friday afternoon, the hours I traditionally spend nailed to the chair catching up with the NSB’s morning preliminary rounds on TiVo will instead be spent nervously packing my gear for the following day’s race. In the evening, while I’m working my way through a 4-hour drive to Santa Barbara, the championship rounds of the Bee will air in prime time. And on Saturday, the day I normally re-watch the Bee a second (or even third) time to compile my NSB diary, I’ll be preoccupied with dragging my tail over 62 miles of mountainous terrain. I’d curse the fates for conspiring against me, but there’s really no one to blame for myself.

First, about the Bee: If you’re a new reader wondering what the heck I’m talking about, it’s important for you to know that I’m a freak for the National Spelling Bee. And if you don’t believe me, just look over to my right sidebar and read some of the reports for yourself.

This year's competition features two young ladies who I’m extremely excited about, although for completely different reasons. The first is someone I actually know: a sixth-grade classmate of my son's who will be making her first trip to the NSB after winning our regional championship. So if you see a girl from Monterey County make it to the televised rounds, you’ll know who I’m cheering for.

The second, of course, is Erin Andrews. Admit it – when I first started gushing about her NSB assignment in 2008, did you suspect she’d become almost a household name less than two years later? But then she was the victim of a well-publicized scandal, and Oprah got hold of her, and Dancing with the Stars happened ... and now she’s practically America’s Sweetheart. So it’s good to see that her newfound fame hasn’t caused her to turn her back on the awkward adolescent crowd who knew her back in the day. At least not yet.

Erin Andrews and someone who's not (as far as I know) a good speller

And now about the race: I mentioned that it’s 100K, but that number doesn’t do the course nearly enough justice. 16,000’ of climbing does. 85 to 90 degree temperatures (forecast for Saturday) do as well. Last year’s winning time of 12:45 – by a guy who has run sub-19-hours at the Leadville 100 – is a pretty telling number as well. Truthfully, the more numbers I look at, the more intimidating this race appears.

Here’s one more: Zero, which is the number of long (greater than 20-mile) runs I’ve done since the Quicksilver 50 four weeks ago. Basically, I’ll be doing the race on muscle memory and determination – which isn’t something I shy away from, but I know it’s going to be one of the tougher challenges I’ve faced in quite a while. If you thought I was kidding about my goals being to 1) not get lost, and 2) finish in one piece, let me assure you that my expectations seriously aren’t much loftier than that.

Assuming I make it through that gauntlet, I’ll recuperate by watching the National Spelling Bee a couple of days late, and getting to work on a race report sometime next week. I’m hopeful that I’ll have a spelling diary in me at some point as well, but for now that one’s going to take a back seat until I see how things shake out after the weekend.

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Great Moments in Spelling (Part VI)

It’s sometimes said that one of the most difficult feats in sports is to win when you’re expected to.

When all you hear in the days leading up the event is how the victory is yours to lose; when all of your competitors acknowledge you as the person to beat; when everybody in the stadium fully expects you to coast to the championship; those are the times when following through with all the predictions can be quite daunting – especially when the margin of error is razor thin. As thin as a single letter, for instance.

With that in mind, we’ll start the recap of the 2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee, which will be remembered as the story of one girl’s quest to fulfill the burden of expectations under the most intense pressure imaginable. Kavya Shivashankar, a 4-time NSB participant who placed 4th in last year’s event, was everybody’s pick to win – but in the past several years, every other kid who has entered the contest as the prohibitive favorite has gone home empty handed. Would Kavya capture that elusive combination of skill, savvy, and luck to finally grab the title? We’d have to wait until prime time to find out.


In the meantime, there were seven preliminary rounds to survive just to make the evening’s main event. Some highlights from the morning rounds:

(As usual, all indicated times are from the PDT broadcast, and all pictures courtesy of Reuters …)

7:04 AM: 41 spellers begin Round 4, the first round to be televised on ESPN – which speaks to the brutality of this competition. Nearly 300 spellers – all of whom are unquestionably, immensely talented kids – take part in the first three rounds, which means that barely 15% of them will ever see the lights of national TV during the preliminary rounds. I think you’d have a better percentage chance of making the finals of American Idol than Round 4 of the NSB.

7:15: ESPN made us wait 15 whole minutes before our first Erin Andrews appearance. She attended the pre-Bee barbecue where the kids do all kinds of fun activities and have races and play games against each other. Whenever they show the kids playing team events like softball, I’m always curious as to what names the opposite sides come up with: Consonants vs Vowels? Gerunds vs Participles? Dipthongs vs Schwas? I’m sure these brainiacs must invent some pretty clever names.

Dr Bailly

7:18: So far, the most pleasant surprise at this year’s Bee are the sentences that seem like they were written by the Tonight Show staff. Whenever a contestant asks for the word to be used in a sentence, judge Jacques Bailly has something witty teed up. For kinetosis (motion sickness) he had, “The first annual Spelling Bee at Sea was also the last after the chaos caused by the spellers’ kinetosis.” For Beckmesser (a teacher of music overly reliant on rules or minutiae) the sentence was, "Kid Rock was seen leaving the club with a Beckmesser on each arm, demanding he practice more." I mean … did you ever think you’d hear a Kid Rock reference at the NSB? If they could somehow hire the Jonas Brothers as the house band to take us into commercial breaks, the ratings for this thing would be blockbuster.

8:09: Erin Andrews is interviewing a kid eating a cookie. Here’s the deal: I don’t know what kind of player 9-year-old Sriram Hathwar is with the ladies at his local elementary school, but of this much I feel quite certain: when Erin Freaking Andrews is talking to you, swallow your cookie, kid! Or at least offer to share. On the plus side, this kid is the envy of about 10 million high-school and college-aged guys right now.

8:56: O Canada, Where Art Thou? At the risk of offending anybody, I’ll just ask: what the heck happened to Canada? In previous years they sent large contingents of spellers who made it deep into the competition, with Canadian spellers even finishing as runners-up in 2006 and 2007. The Canucks were such a threatening force that I concocted this whole notion of the Maple Leaf Project taking place across our northern border, dedicated to intellectual domination of the United States. It added a new geopolitical dimension to the Bee that was equal parts exciting and terrifying.

Veronica Penny

The 2008 NSB saw the Canadian Massacre, where seven straight Canadian contestants were dinged out of the competition in Round 5 – so this year, I figured they’d return with a vengeance. However, in this year’s Round 5, the Canadians are again cut down like timber: Claudine Broussard misses eurystomatous (having a broad mouth), Canadian champ Laura Newcombe misses hyalithe (an opaque glass), and Veronica Penny misses macle (a flat diamond) – and just like that, our neighbors to the north are swept from the contest.

The Maple Leaf Project has clearly fallen on hard times (perhaps a victim of the economy?). Although I’m as patriotic as the next guy, this makes me kind of sad - in some ways I kind of miss the old rivalry. So step it up next year, Canada … for all of our sakes.

10:34: For an event where each person’s fate hinges on a single letter or syllable spoken incorrectly, this year’s Bee has been remarkably predictable through the morning rounds. Nearly all of the favorites - including Kavya - have made it to the prime-time telecast that begins with Round 7 later this evening.

Kavya looking strong

8:01 PM: Prime time! For some reason, each year ABC feels compelled to replace the morning round host – the very competent Chris McKendry – with Tom Bergeron for the evening session. I’m almost 100% certain that viewers aren’t tuning in to this event because of Bergeron’s star power - and somehow, having the “Funniest Home Videos” guy as master of ceremonies just reinforces the idea that good spellers are all nerds. Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive about this. At least they’ve kept Erin Andrews around for the sex appeal factor.

8:03: I often make hockey analogies during these Bee recaps, because the NSB usually takes place during the Stanley Cup finals, and because it often involves some US/Canada drama (or at least, it did, back when Canada used to be good at spelling). Hockey players are known for being freaks about superstition, and one of the highest commandments is that you NEVER touch the Stanley Cup unless you have won it. It’s disrespectful to the hockey gods, and it brings terrible karma upon your team.

I’m reminded of this during the opening montage featuring each kid holding the NSB trophy while he or she is introduced. There’s only one of the 11 finalists who sits next to the statue without touching it: Kavya Shivashankar. File this point away for future reference.

Neetu celebrates

8:25: Every year there seems to be one kid in the finals whose excitement and enthusiasm are contagious; this year, that kid is 13-year-old Neetu Chandak. After spelling ophelimity (economic satisfaction) correctly, she beams and pumps her arms and acts like the happiest kid in the world. Especially in comparison to the kids who gnash their teeth or cower behind their placards between rounds, it’s very delightful to watch.

Kennyi having some fun

8:30: We’re off to a fairly gentle start: Ten out of eleven contestants spell their Round 7 word correctly, Dr Bailly keeps bringing down the house with one-liner sentences, and Kennyi Aouad has won the crowd’s hearts by wearing a pair of fake glasses onstage in honor of Dr Bailly. Good times all around – it almost makes you forget that the night will end in heartbreak for all but one of these kids …

Sidharth struggling

8:53: … and the hammer falls suddenly: To most observers, the biggest challenge to Kavya winning this year’s title would be Sidharth Chand, who was runner-up in last year’s Bee. So it’s the biggest shock of the evening when Sidharth stumbles over apodyterium (a dressing room in an ancient Greek gymnasium) in Round 8 - and just like that, the path to victory seems a whole lot clearer for Kavya.

For the record, here’s an interesting NSB fact: no runner-up has ever won the Bee the following year. It’s like how the losing Super Bowl team never makes it back to the championship game, only this streak goes back twice as many years. There has to be some sociological hypothesis to draw from this – we need to get Malcolm Gladwell on the case.

8:54: Immediately after Sidharth gets taken out, happy-go-lucky Neetu gets bounced by derriengue (a paralytic disease affecting livestock). Upbeat to the end, she says “Ding!” to the judge before hearing the bell that seals her fate.

This Bee has gotten a whole lot meaner. Seven spellers remain at the end of Round 8.

9:04: Kavya’s now the clear favorite to win, but she’s going to have to earn it: every speller gets their Round 9 word correct. From this point on, every word is a battle.

9:07: Kyle Mou (right) has been the most soft-spoken contestant of the evening, and he looks to weigh about 70 pounds dripping wet - but he’s carrying a big stick thus far at the Bee. He’s also very familiar with words of French origin: in successive rounds, he nails avoirdupois (a unit of weight), plaidoyer (a plea made in court), and oeillade (a coquettish glance).

9:35: Unbelievable! All seven spellers sail through Round 10 as well. These aren’t sissy words, either: if you tell me you’ve ever heard of cretonne (an unglazed linen fabric), xebec (a Mediterranean sailing ship), or huisache (a thorny shrub), I’ll call you a liar.

9:51: That’s more like it: three spellers are finally eliminated in Round 11, and we’ve got our final four. Although the pressure is mounting, Kavya hasn’t blinked - she breezes through ecossaise (a lively dance tune) to make it to round 12.

9:58: Kyle Mou’s French karma runs out, as he runs into the “Greek to Latin to International Scientific to English combining form” schizaffin (slender and slight), and we’re down to three.

The stage gets lonlier

10:06: No one’s giving an inch: All three spellers nail their Round 13 words. Since we’ve officially gone over the allotted time, Tom Bergeron reassures us that we’ll still get to see the scheduled re-run of Gray’s Anatomy in its entirety. Good to know.

10:15: Just like that, the door opens: In Round 14, Aishwarya Pastapur misses menhir (a prehistoric monolith), and Tim Ruiter misses Maecenas (a generous benefactor), while Kavya coolly knocks out phoresy (a non-parasitic relationship between animals for transportation). She’s at the crest of the mountaintop – one more word will get her there.

10:16: Kavya’s a fantastic speller, but a terrible poker player: As soon as she hears the word Laodicean (indifferent in religion or politics), a small but very noticeable grin forms on Kavya’s face. She asks a couple of questions as a matter of formality, and to gain her composure before spelling the word correctly to win the championship.

10:17: Almost before she even finishes the word, Kavya’s dad leaps from his chair and rushes over to hug his daughter. The CEO of the Scripps Company comes over to congratulate her, and then – finally – Kavya takes hold of the trophy she’s pursued for four long years. It’s hers now, to visit relatives with, to take to parties, or to guzzle champagne from (oops, sorry – I’m thinking of hockey players again).

For any of us on the outside, it’s impossible to know the dedication these kids possess from day to day, month to month, and year after year in hopes of having a moment like this on the NSB stage. (On a related note: how come nobody has thought to create an extended-run reality TV show about these spellers? I’m almost positive that people would watch this.) What’s obvious, though, is how much they enjoy the practice, the camaraderie of their peers, and the competition of the Bee itself. Only one kid takes home the trophy, but everyone is better for having taken part.

If those aspects sound similar to ultras or triathlons, that’s probably not a coincidence – and maybe that’s why I like this event so much.


* See previous editions of this series on sidebar at right.

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Great Moments in Spelling: Part V

I’m not sure when somebody officially becomes a TV junkie … but I suspect that one symptom might be when you realize there’s a 2-hour Lost finale on Thursday followed by 6 hours of spelling bee coverage on Friday, and start plotting ways to evict the rest of your family from the house for 24 hours so you can watch all the festivities in peace.

Short of that, the next best thing is TiVo, which became my most valuable possession over the weekend. I’ll leave all of the Lost references aside for now – because that show deserves its own post someday (seriously … what the heck is going on there?) – in order to focus all my attention on the 81st annual Scripps National Spelling Bee, from the Independence Ballroom of the Grand Hyatt in Washington, DC.

As you can imagine, this is a long one, so we'll get right to it. Lights, camera, laptop … action!

We pick up the action in Round 5, where 45 spellers remain. All times are from the West Coast broadcast, and all photos are from Reuters and the NSB website.

9:04 AM: As usual, our head pronouncer is Dr Jacques Bailly, who seems in an unusually chipper mood as the festivities get underway. He welcomes the first contestant of the broadcast, the fittingly-named So-Young Chung, with a cheerful “Howdy, So-Young”, and also greets second speller Samia Nawaz by name. Several of the first spellers reply with a “Hi, Dr Bailly”, and the whole morning feels like a big orthographic lovefest.

9:08: Here’s my girl! Before the contest, Momo and I each picked three spellers, with the winner of our wager determined by whoever’s speller advanced the furthest. I’m casting my fate with 13-year-old Tia Thomas of Coarsegold, CA (a one-horse town about 30 minutes from Yosemite National Park), who happens to be a 5-time NSB participant. Momo’s big gun is Matthew Evans, the only other 5-time participant in this year’s group.

It promises to be a clash of the titans in prime time – and as Tia breezes through mcleod (a combination hoe and rake), I feel very confident in my selection.

9:20: Finally - our first 1st Erin Andrews appearance! Holy cow, she looks good. I’d say she’s bringing sexy back to the Bee, only I’m not sure if the Bee ever had sexy to begin with. She introduces a taped segment about the pre-Bee picnic and barbecue – imagine a pre-race pasta feed with carnival games and sing-a-longs, and you get the idea.

Afterward, Andrews marvels at how “calm and collective” these kids are. She’s not actually nervous about covering the Bee, is she? There’s no way she could find these bookish grade-schoolers nearly as threatening as some lecherous college quarterback. Unless she has a thing for good spellers, in which case, um … on second thought, I’d better not say.

9:22 - 9:38: The Canadian Massacre! Seven straight Canadian spellers are bounced from the competition, including 13-year-old Anqi Dong, last year’s 8th place finisher from Saskatchewan, who misses hooley (an Irish party).

I’ve made fun (and at the same time, been paranoid) of the Great White Northern Invasion of our Bee in the past couple of years, but once 14-year-old Grace Tsai trips on cinerea (gray matter of nerve tissue), there are no more Canadians in this year’s competition. And we’re still in the first hour of the telecast!

Future historians might mark these 16 minutes as a very dark period in US-Canadian relations. I’m sure the Maple Leaf Project is already plotting its retaliatory measures for 2009. This is the kind of thing that can escalate.

9:42: The Bee is an absolute buzzsaw right now: 14-year-old Arushi Jauhari misses biedermeier (humdrum, artistically limited), making her the 9th straight contestant eliminated in Round 5.

There’s just no polite way to say it: to this point, the contest has been a bloodbath. Since the start of the broadcast, 13 of the first 21 spellers have been eliminated. So much for the kinder, gentler Jacques Bailly. At this rate, there won’t be any spellers left for prime time.

9:46: 13-year-old Matt Gabriele stops the bleeding by nailing pericope (a passage used for a sermon), and everyone omits a brief sigh of relief. It’s like when a batter breaks up a no-hitter, and the rest of his teammates immediately think, “Hey – this pitcher is hittable after all!” Or maybe that’s just what it’s like to me.

10:04: The prettiest voice of the competition belongs to 12-year-old Sade Dunbar of Jamaica, whose accent is almost melodic as she correctly spells flageolet (a small flute). Sade is also the most polite contestant in the group, capping every one of her questions with please, and her responses with thank you: “Could I have the form of speech please, Dr Bailly? Thank you, Dr Bailly.”

I like Sade a lot. Even though I didn’t pick her, she’s my sentimental favorite now.


10:06: An extended bio of Momo’s other pick, Kavya Shivashenkar, and her precocious 6-year-old sister, Vanya. Apparently Vanya’s an amazing speller also. Don’t ever agree to play Scrabble with the Shivashenkar kids. Kavya breezes through krummholz (a stunted alpine forest) looking poised for a championship run this evening. In fact, she’s beginning to scare me a bit.

11:14: My other pick for the contest is 13-year-old Justin Song, whom I explained to Momo this way: “I have no idea who he is, but he’s from a town called Carmel Valley, so I should cheer for him.” Since then, I’ve discovered two things: 1) Justin’s hometown is in a different part of California than mine (Do any other states have two towns with the same name?), and 2) This kid was a perfect choice for me.

Justin’s laid-back style exudes California mellow: his flat affect, slow speech, and chilled-out surfer drawl make him sound waterlogged from too many hours in the ocean. Or, as my friend described him in an e-mail to me in the middle of the competition: “He’s the Asian Jeff Spicoli.” As Justin correctly spells duroc (a large red hog) to move on to the next round, I’m thinking that my picking this kid was like some kind of eHarmony match.

(By the way, isn’t Duroc the name of Lord Farquaad's kingdom in Shrek? Shockingly, Dr Bailly makes no mention of this.)

11:44: The turning point of the contest: Matthew Evans, Momo’s number one pick, goes down! He looks defeated even before he slowly attempts the spelling of secernent (something that secretes) – and gives the judges a crestfallen look before he hears the cruel “ding” of failure.

Even though this is great news for me, I can’t help feeling devastated for the guy. That’s the thing about this contest – even when you want a kid to go out, it’s still a heartbreaking thing to watch.

(Actually, Momo wrote about this moment much better than I did – go check it out, then come back.)

12:17 PM: More heartbreak: Sade Dunbar, my new favorite Jamaican middle-schooler, misses hidradenitis (inflammation of a sweat gland – what’s up with all the glandular terms this year?), and is the last speller eliminated before the prime time broadcast.

12:19: However, there’s no doubt that our sister act will be in the finals. As Kavya correctly spells allotriophagy (a craving for eating unnatural substances), ESPN gives us a split split-screen shot of Vanya watching and spelling along. Have they mentioned yet that Vanya’s a good speller, too? I think I remember them mentioning that.

Big sister Kavya is looking strong – which means she’s now my biggest threat to carry Momo to victory. It also means we’ll probably see about 30 more shots of her little sister in prime time, where 12 finalists will duke it out over on ABC later tonight.

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8:00PM: We’re live in prime time! But first we have to sit through some cutesy little opening skit featuring host Tom Bergeron trying to spell a word. Could we just get to the real spellers, please?

8:01: A new twist this year: for the final rounds, the spellers’ families are seated onstage across from the contestants. This seems wrong to me, like the parents are stealing a bit of the spotlight away from the kids. On the plus side, we get to watch Kavya’s adorable sister Vanya for 2 more hours! Did you know she’s a very good speller?

8:08: 14-year old Austin Pineda is seemingly trying to pull to the correct letters for tralatitious (passed along from generation to generation) out of his hair, which he continuously twirls with a single finger throughout his questions, and during his attempt to spell the word. It doesn’t work – one speller down.

8:12: Erin Andrews interviews the Shivashankar sisters. Kavya says she wants to get through the first prime time round to settle her nerves. Vanya just stands there looking adorable – and in case we’ve forgotten, Erin reminds us that Vanya’s an excellent speller, too!

8:28: You know how hockey and baseball players grow those playoff beards, partly out of superstition, and partly to intimidate the competition? I’m thinking that’s what 12-year-old Sidharth Chand is doing by sporting a mustache for the NSB. He probably hasn’t shaved since his regional bee.

Sidharth’s got the goods, too – he aces tautological (marked my meaningless repetition) to cruise into the next round.

8:39: A Tia Thomas profile: She’s read the dictionary 7 times. She can speak German, French, Italian, and Spanish. Her brother likes to wear a Darth Vader mask. It’s doesn’t quite match the Vanya level of cute sibling stories, but it’s OK. Tia looks cool and collected, nailing brankursine (a prickly European herb) to advance.

8:42: I love Rose Sloan! She bursts into a 1,000-watt smile after hearing the word alcarraza (an earthenware jug), which is clearly a word she’s studied before. After each correct spelling, she laughs and jumps for joy. She may not win, but there’s no question which contestant is having the most fun.


8:44: 13-year-old Sameer Mishra’s debut on the national stage is a memorable one, as shocked giggles ripple through Independence Ballroom in reaction to his assigned word. Sameer repeats what he heard with a slow, puzzled tone: “numbnut?” The giggles turn to astonished laughs.

It’s only after Dr Bailly pronounces the word more clearly that Sameer happily announces, “Oh – NUMNAH!”, and then with perfect comedic timing says, “That’s a relief.” He correctly spells the word (a pad placed under a saddle to prevent chafing), and sits back down with a relieved smile.

(Funny sidenote: Based on the definition, what do you suppose a numnah is used for? To prevent numb nuts, of course!)

8:50: Returning from a commercial break, Erin Andrews interviews Sameer, asking what he was thinking when he heard his last word. That’s exactly what a 13-year-old boy needs: to be questioned by the world’s hottest reporter about numbnuts on live national television. Even though I love her, I’m thinking that Andrews might be too sexy for this Bee.

9:04: Duuuuude! Justin Song misses satyagraha (a Gandhian method of achieving reform), and takes a seat alongside his parents onstage. 20 minutes later, a pizza delivery man enters the ballroom asking who ordered the pepperoni with extra cheese.

(OK, I made that last sentence up – but it wouldn’t have shocked me.)

9:13 – 9:31: We’ve established our Murderer’s Row of spellers: for several rounds, Sameer, Kavya, and Sidharth follow one another to the mic, ask a few perfunctory questions, then correctly spell their words without hesitation. Meanwhile, spellers all around them are dropping. Once Rose misses sheitel (a wig worn by married Jewish women), only 5 spellers remain as the tension mounts. Fortunately, my girl Tia is also hanging tough.

9:41: Kavya’s the first to crack: She stumbles on ecrase (crushed or flattened, pertaining to fabrics or leather), which is a terrible mistake for her. On the other hand, in a related story … I win! It’s the agony and the ecstasy of the National Spelling Bee.

Honestly, I’d like to feel happy … but Kavya looks so emotionally ecrase as she sits with her father that I can barely celebrate. She’s obviously disappointed. On the plus side, Vegas oddsmakers have her as the favorite for the 2009 Bee; sister Vanya is listed at 5:1 for the 2011 contest.

9:44: 14-year-old Scott Remer trips over thymele (an ancient Greek altar), and we’re down to our final 3 - including Tia, who carried me to a hard-earned (OK, I didn’t earn it myself … but I was very nervous) victory over Momo. She’s made it this far – why not cheer for her to go all the way? OK, I’ll do it – go Tia!

Meanwhile, we’ve moved onto the championship words – in case you thought they were all easy up to this point.

9:58: AAGH! Tia’s the first to falter in the championship round, looking confused for the first time all night while considering opificer (skilled worker; artisan). She misses the word – and just like that, her 5-year odyssey through the Bee is over. I’m going to miss her next year – and not just because I’ll need someone to topple Kavya again. She seems like a really great girl.

Go well into the world, Tia. Thanks for the memories.

10:05: Sidharth uses perfect French inflection to pronounce introvable (impossible to find), followed immediately by Sameer using an exaggerated phony accent to pronounce esclandre (an incident that causes scandal). In addition to spelling their words correctly, these two are doing an Felix Ungar and Oscar Madison routine on us. God, I love the Bee.

10:07: Sidharth blinks first, missing prosopopoeia (a figure of speech in which an absent person is present), leaving the door open for Sameer to claim victory.

10:08: Sameer correctly spells guerdon (a reward), and wins the title! His guerdon for the victory is $30,000 and set of encyclopedias, plus the opportunity to tell his numbnut story on The Tonight Show one of these days.

Meanwhile, I have to wait a whole year to tell another Bee story – not to mention, at least seven months for a new Lost episode. What the heck am I going to do with my summer?

At least I know the next 4 weeks are spoken for - beyond that, it’s anyone’s guess.


(See previous installments in sidebar at right)

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Weekend Update

A somewhat scattered collection of thoughts today - I'm having a hard time maintaining focus …

* First, in regards to the previous post, I’m leaning toward the hypothesis that the word written on the side of the Mystery Machine says “mean” - which also makes me reconsider my plan to approach the van’s owner to ask for sure. I’m guessing he might not be the most approachable guy in Salinas. But you know I’ll probably do it – because once my curiosity kicks in, there’s no turning back.

I also find it amusing that the first person to ring in with the consensus best answer to deciphering gangster-style graffiti happens to be a pastor. Blogging cracks me up sometimes.

* The National Spelling Bee will be televised this Friday, May 30th, with preliminary rounds in the morning on ESPN, and the final rounds in prime time on ABC. They made a couple of changes to the telecast this year that bear mentioning:

Most significantly, the day of the final rounds was moved from its traditional Thursday schedule to a Friday – which means we’re one step closer to something I’ve been recommending for years: a weekend showcase on par with Super Bowl Sunday or the Indy 500. Personally, I can’t wait until this happens – because it’s getting harder and harder to make up excuses to ditch work each year to watch the opening rounds.

Less importantly – but perhaps more interesting – is who ESPN has assigned as a “sideline reporter”. Remember last year, when I complained about how sports radio hosts Mike & Mike would clown around like jocks and make jokes at the kids expense? Well, this year, the network has taken a different approach.

Instead of Mike & Mike, ESPN and ABC will utilize Erin Andrews, whose drop-dead gorgeous looks have made her one of the hottest commodities – if you don’t believe me, just Google her - in broadcasting. For the record, Andrews knows her stuff – at least when it comes to sports – but I’m not sure what kind of a speller she is. But for one night, the spelling kids (well, the boys, anyway) will be the envy of nearly every collegiate and professional athlete in America – which is as unlikely a scenario as you could ever imagine at the Bee.

And, like we did last year, Momo and I have cast our fates with these awkward young phenoms, with a wager riding on whose contestant advances the furthest. Before you ask – yes, we’ve actually researched the competition, and yes, there’s a lot of pride on the line for us. As Momo said, we’re kindred souls that way.

Finally, some running-related items …

* I’m at the point now where I feel ready to take on Western States. The only problem is that the race is still almost five weeks away – which seems like too much time to just coast through the rest of my training. I need to keep the high mileage up for at least another 2 weeks, but I’m so fatigued lately that the prospect of doing so seems terribly daunting. What I need most of all is to stay focused and disciplined.

On that note: the new video - appropriately titled “Discipline” - from Nine Inch Nails is on the sidebar, and it’s, um … interesting. Kind of funny, very campy, and a little creepy at the end. Give it a click and see what you think.

* I didn’t go to the Western States training camp this weekend. I had every intention of going for at least one day, but another opportunity came up that I considered a much better offer. So instead of spending time on Devil’s Thumb and Michigan Bluff, I spent three days admiring this:


That would be Half Dome, at Yosemite National Park. My son’s 4th grade class took a field trip to the park last week, and I went along as a chaperone. I returned on Friday, and the prospect of getting right back in the car and driving 4 hours to Auburn seemed awfully unreasonable - not to mention, hard to justify to the rest of the family.


It was an incredible time to be at Yosemite: the weather was perfect, the crowds were below normal, and the waterfalls were raging with hurricane intensity. On our second day there, the entire class did a challenging 8-mile hike up the cliffs to the tops of Vernal Fall and Nevada Fall, and back down on the John Muir trail. On the other days, we hiked to Yosemite Fall, Bridalveil Fall, Mirror Lake, and through the giant sequoias of the Mariposa Grove.

So even though it meant skipping the WS training, I wouldn’t have missed the field trip for the world. I mean … how many times do experiences like this come along? For that matter, how many elementary schools take kids to Yosemite for 3 days? I’m certain that I’ve mentioned this before, but under the circumstances it bears repeating: sometimes, it’s very cool to grow up in California.

Truthfully, it's not such a bad place to be a parent, either.

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Great Moments in Spelling: The Beginning

As promised, today’s post has nothing to do with the Western States 100. Instead, it’s something of a look back, as well as a glimpse of what’s to come; it’s my report on the 2004 Scripps Spelling Bee.

I still remember this event like it was yesterday – it was the day I got hooked on spelling bees. I was transfixed by the competition, and knew it was a story that deserved to be written.

Of course, in 2004, I didn’t have this blog, and didn’t have a newspaper gig … basically, I was just an idiot runner who liked to write things. Eventually this report was sent by e-mail to about 10 friends and family members, most of whom replied with some kind of concern regarding my mental well-being, or made thinly-disguised suggestions of more meaningful ways to spend my time.

(I also had linked to this article once when it was on my old website – so if you were very industrious about 3 years ago, you might have seen this before. But for some reason I doubt it.)

I knew better, though – and every year since then, the Bee has been Must See Television for me. One of the first articles I posted to this blog was my report on the 2005 Bee, and the event has become one of my favorite things to write about over the years.

The other cool things at my disposal now that I didn’t have back then are all the bells and whistles of blogging: links and pictures and video clips and other stuff that that four years ago would have made my head explode. So now instead of taking my word for it, you can watch the pivotal event of the 2004 Bee for yourself, and then tell me if I was exaggerating the drama. (I’ll say no way.)

The second to last paragraph may be esoteric to all but the most hardcore track fans; I considered deleting it from this version, but decided to leave it alone, if for no better reason than to demonstrate what a nerd I used to be for the sport of running.

Two final notes: first, this collection of Bee posts is getting big enough to justify its own sidebar category, so if you’re interested in reading past episodes, I’ve stored them there.

Second, the 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee is on Thursday, May 29th, with a daytime telecast on ESPN, and prime-time coverage of the final rounds on ABC. Set your TiVos now, and thank me later.

**

“Great Moments in Spelling” June 2004

I’ve always considered myself to be a closet geek (although the more I write, the less applicable the “closet” part becomes). Especially when I was younger, most of your garden-variety school-age stereotypes of the nerdy, oddball kid were apparent in me to some degree.

Exhibit A is that I am a very good speller. Not only that, but I think about spelling a lot, like normal people ponder their careers or families.

One of my biggest pet peeves is poor spelling, especially the intentional kind in countless businesses like Quik-E-Mart or products like Froot Loops. If I hear a word spoken and don’t know how it is spelled, I start twitching like Rain Man until I can get my hands on a dictionary.

Imagine my delight, then, when ESPN decided to broadcast not just one, but two full days of the National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.C. last month. Yahoo! Thanks to TiVo, I had recorded six full hours of the Super Bowl of spelling at my disposal, to watch at my leisure and play along with at home.

Yes, I get excited about these things. No, my wife wasn’t impressed.

The defining moment of the Bee happened relatively early, on the first round of the 2nd day. 13-year-old Akshay Buddiga, from Colorado Springs, stood at the podium, asking clarification questions for his assigned word, alopecoid (like a fox, vulpine). Akshay’s brother was a previous Spelling Bee champ, and no siblings have ever won the Bee. While the camera was focused on him in this round, the TV commentator ominously declared, “Akshay is trying to make history here.”

As his preliminary time expired, Akshay’s pupils dilated, his eyes rolled upward, and he fainted onto the floor with a thud as the crowd uttered a shocked, collective gasp. He was only on the floor for a few seconds before he stood up, stumbled to the microphone, and spelled the word correctly- all within the allotted time.

*2008 update: Watch it for yourself! (click to play):



At home, I’m thinking … is this for real? Has a kid ever fainted in the Bee, and stayed in the competition? The audience nearly sprained their wrists clapping for the kid before he took his seat.

In the next round, a Bee official brought him a stool to sit on as he considered his word – and right away, I’m wondering: doesn’t this violate some kind of rule? Like not being allowed maintenance assistance for your bike in a triathlon, or having to walk the course in golf? This stool isn’t considered an unfair advantage somehow? I’m wondering why none of the other kids are having a fit and protesting this. Obviously, they don’t care like I do.

Anyway, Akshay sits in the chair, looking dazed and lethargic, and proceeds to nail lyophilize (to freeze-dry, as with tissue or serum). In successive rounds, he correctly spells hudibrastic, effleurage, oyez, lagniappe, and tralatitious to make the final round. It was like watching Michael Jordan stagger around the court, hitting jumper after jumper in his “flu game” of the 1997 NBA finals- I kept expecting the kid to wrap a wet towel over his head between rounds like Jordan did during the timeouts. By this time, the audience is giving him standing ovations, growing more excited with each passing round.

Finally, it’s down to only two- Akshay against David Tidmarsh, from South Bend – and now I’m thinking, how would you like to be this other kid? As if the pressure of the Bee itself isn’t enough, he can be absolutely certain that every single person in the building, except for his own mother, is cheering for his opponent to win. This is how the Soviet hockey team probably felt in the 1980 Olympics.

David is so nervous that when awaiting his turns between rounds, he slumps in his chair and hides his face behind his numbered placard. In the darkness of the rear auditorium, Bee officials were probably already on the phone to the Disney Company, consulting on who should play Akshay in the movie version. The two spellers trade correct words as the tension mounts.

And then suddenly, the unthinkable happens, as Akshay trips over schwarmerei (excessive, unbridled enthusiasm). The crowd is stunned- how could this happen? He was in the zone! The story clearly wasn’t scripted this way.

The audience momentarily loses its collective schwarmerei as David approaches the microphone. His composure is slowly eroding as he listens to his word, and it’s obvious that he’s perilously close to coming completely unraveled. At home, I’m wondering again - has there ever been a faint and a nervous breakdown in the same Bee?

Mercifully, David finally starts spelling, and takes nearly 60 seconds to correctly say the letters of the winning word autochthonous (native, original), pausing several times to sob and hyperventilate, his voice quivering with equal parts excitement and fear. After winning, he shuffles slowly across the stage, arms limp at his sides, and collapses into a hug from his mom. He needs help from the MC to lift the trophy for the cameras.


Akshay sits down with his brother, ironically cursed to be the second best speller in America, yet only the second best speller in his own house. Seriously … can the Olympics top this sort of drama?

Needless to say, while watching the Bee unfold before me, I thought of many parallels to running.

I recalled runners who have came back to win races after a fall (John Landy, Lasse Viren), and runners who have overcome unforeseen physiological hardships in races to win (Bob Kempanien, Uta Pippig). I thought about the pressure of measuring up to a sibling legacy (Jorge and Edward Torres), and the pain of coming tantalizingly close to victory, only to see it slip away at the last possible instant (Hicham El Guerrouj). I thought of runners trying to succeed when the crowd is against them (Zola Budd), or pushing themselves beyond the point of physical and mental exhaustion to achieve a goal (any ultramarathoners).

*2008 addition: I thought of linking to all of these runners - but remember, I'm in burnout mode. If you want a giant dose of historic running stories, do yourself a favor and wiki search any of their names.

I thought of weaving them into the story to show off the fact that I can make almost any topic relate to running. In the end, I decided to let the Bee narrative stand on its own. Some stories just don’t need outside embellishment to be worth telling.

See other installments of this series on sidebar at right.

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Great Moments in Spelling (Part IV)

Welcome to the 80th Scripps National Spelling Bee! 286 spellers from all over the country – and around the world – have converged upon Independence Hall of the Grand Hyatt Hotel in Washington, D.C.



Meanwhile, in Carmel Valley, CA, I’ve converged onto a big recliner, armed with a laptop and a tall Diet Pepsi, to take in all six hours of coverage on ESPN and ABC. It’s the night that spelling fans all over the country dream of. I mean … how many other events provide such comprehensive coverage? NBC only gives the Ironman a 2-hour TV slot, and even the longest Tour de France stages only command three hours of airtime on Versus. When it comes to giving the fans what they want, the NSB is second to none.

As usual, I kept a running diary of the proceedings. And as you should expect by now, it’s a long one – so let’s skip any further introduction and just get right to it. All times listed are the PDT broadcast times - and all pictures are courtesy of Reuters.

7:03 AM: This morning’s hosts are Chris McKendry and Paul Loeffler. Loeffler was a Bee finalist in 1990 and did a pretty solid job with his commentary in last year’s telecast.

Unfortunately, Loeffler’s not off to a roaring start: at the top of the show, he tells us that prior experience is a huge factor at the Bee, as 26 of the final 59 spellers are returning competitors. So … doesn’t that mean that 33 of the finalists aren’t returners? Good thing this isn’t the Math Bee, or we’d need to find a new host.

Then again, maybe he’s just nervous about being replaced by Mike and Mike tonight.

7:04: A couple of posts ago, you thought I was kidding about placing bets on the Spelling Bee - all of you except Momo, that is. She’s my kind of girl: a 6th grade spelling bee champ who offered me a wager before this year’s NSB. I took 4-time finalist Samir Patel, and gave her the pick of the field.

Just before our contest begins, Samir’s the only contestant to be interviewed; the announcers identify him as the heavy favorite in today’s Bee. Watching at home, I’m completely confident that I’m in good hands with Samir. Even if he doesn’t win the trophy, one thing is certain: Momo is going down.

**
And we’re underway! We pick up the action in Round 5.

7:05: The first word of the round, difficile, goes to 14-year-old Grace Pyo. It’s a French derivative, and a typical snapshot of how silly things can get at the NSB.

My daughters have a book called Fancy Nancy, about a girl who likes to dress up and do everything in a fancy way. For example, she loves the word “fuchsia”, because it’s a fancy way of saying “purple.”

Well … do you know what the definition of difficile is? It’s “difficult”. A fancy way of saying difficult. And Grace doesn’t realize it, and leaves out an F. In other words, she was tripped up by a Fancy Nancy word.

7:28: The Canadians are coming!! ESPN reports that 20 Canadian kids have entered this year’s Bee, an increase from 14 last year. Last year’s runner-up was Canadian; one of these years, some Canuck kid is going to break all the way through and take our trophy home. (I know, I discussed this last year – but I still think it would feel strange if our NSB trophy ever spent an entire year on the wrong side of the border. And yes, I'm aware that this is exactly how Canadians will feel if the Anaheim Ducks win the Stanley Cup this week.)

Did you ever have a neighbor who is polite, friendly, and well liked by everybody, but keeps to himself a little too often, to the point of occasional suspicion? Maybe he’s got some big project going on in his garage, but he never lets anyone see it, so you start wondering what the heck he’s working on in there. After several months, your curiosity runs wild, and you start imagining all manner of threatening scenarios that might be brewing right on the other side of the fence.

I’m starting to think of Canada as that strange neighbor. Sure, they all appear charming and humble on the surface – but there must be some sort of Manhattan Project going on up there, with the goal of dominating America’s National Spelling Bee. Every year, they send more kids who progress further into the competition. It’s like they’ve dedicated an entire generation to establishing intellectual superiority over us – let’s call it the Maple Leaf Project - and they’re making excellent progress.

Then again, maybe they just have a lot of smart kids who study hard and enjoy the competition. But I still think my secret project theory is worth mentioning.

(The Canadians: "Just smile and wave, boys ... just smile and wave ...")

7:42: Claire Zhang looks confused after hearing the ding that indicates she misspelled the word burelage (a pattern of lines or dots on security paper). Her confusion is well-founded: as she is escorted offstage, the judges review the tape and realize that she did, in fact, spell the word correctly. Claire rejoins the competition and gets some high fives upon returning to her chair.

Most professional sports leagues are pitifully behind the times in embracing the use of instant replay to enhance the competition. The NFL and NBA both grapple with the proper situations to use it, and Major League Baseball stubbornly refuses to implement it at all. But the NSB has effectively employed instant replay for years. You tell me – which is the more progressive organization?

8:22: The definition of strigil is “a metal instrument to scrape the skin used by ancient Greeks after athletic exercises.” How funny - nowadays, triathletes use sharp metal instruments to scrape their legs before their events. Last month, the strigil I used came from underneath my wife’s bathroom sink, and had an attractive pink plastic handle so I could use it in the shower. I didn’t realize I was carrying out a 4000-year-old Greek tradition, though.

8:28: 13-year-old Kate Weir, the New Zealand national bee champ, has been giving the judges fits all day long. Her Kiwi accent is incredibly thick, leading to the following difficulties:

She pronounces the letter G as “jay” - which is the exact same way she says the letter J. She pronounces her A’s as E’s, her E’s as I’s, and her I’s as A’s

And here is the word she receives : jardinière.

The judges are silent for a full five minutes after she spells the word (meaning a decorative ceramic pot), conferring with each other, and completely baffled as to what letters the girl actually said. They listen to replays, which only confuse them more. They can’t ask her to respell the word, or to write it down, or give her another word, because any of those decisions would violate the rules of competition.

Finally, Head Judge Mary Brooks leans into the mic, initiating the following exchange:

Judge: “Could you repeat the first letter that you said for that word?”

Kate: “Jay”

Judge: “Tell us another word that starts with that letter.”

Kate: “Jay-raffe”

Ding!

(Ladies and Gentlemen, Judge Mary Brooks! That’s why she earns the big bucks.)


9:06: AAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Samir Patel (at left) chokes on clevis (a connection or fastener for fitting parts), and is out of the competition. The crowd lets out a stunned gasp, and he receives a standing ovation from the other spellers while walking offstage. It’s an impressive, touching sight – and yet, I can’t summon any sympathy for the kid. Because right now, even though she’s 1000 miles away, all I can hear is the sound of Momo laughing.

It’s simply a terrible turn of events for me - I mean, for Samir. No, actually … I mean for me. My head is spinning. Pause the TiVo. I need a minute alone.

(Ten minutes later … )

10:07-10:30: OK, I’m back. The rest of the morning session passes by in a blur: spellers come and go, some return to their seats, some are escorted offstage. Meanwhile, I’ve completely lost my focus – the Bee’s just not the same without Samir. And I’ve got more than three hours left to watch. I feel like I’ve lost my pacer near the halfway point of an ultramarathon, and now I’m uncertain whether I want to continue alone.

Luckily, there’s an aid station just ahead: the midday break at the conclusion of round 6. I’m going to pour some water over my head, take in some calories, and try to come back strong in prime time.

8:00 PM: Prime time coverage begins – and Robin Roberts is in the house. The NSB has officially gone big time. 15 spellers remain to duke it out under the hot lights.


8:09: 13-year-old Evan O’Dorney (at right) of Danville, CA, looks poised and confident as he correctly spells rascacio (a type of scorpion fish). I like this O’Dorney kid – he looks like he could go all the way. Hmmm … do you think it’s too late to e-mail Momo back?

8:11: Our first “up close and personal” profile of the night, of 12-year-old Tia Thomas, whose parents make the point of telling us that “she’s not a nerd”. Then we hear Tia say her favorite word is pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, after which our new co-host, ex-NFL player Mike Golic, explains to us that the word means “an inhalation of a fine quartz dust.” Um … could we just get on with the Bee, please? Apparently it’s all too much for Tia, who misspells zacate (a forage of grassy plants), and exits stage left.

8:16: In my Wildflower recap, I said that some days you’re the hammer, and some days you’re the nail – and right now, the Bee is swinging a huge hammer. Since the prime time broadcast has started, 3 of the first 4 kids have misspelled their words. ABC has two hours allocated to this show – but at this pace, they’ll be wrapping things up in 30 minutes. Hey … if that happens, do you think they’ll show a rerun of Lost? All of a sudden, I’m not really sure what I’m cheering for.

At least the Bee is punishing the Canadian and American kids equally: after 13-year-old Cody Wang of Calgary trips over apozem (a boiled medicinal preparation), only two Canucks remain. The Maple Leaf Project may need to wait another year – because America’s not giving up this Bee easily.

8:31: Another “up close” piece features Kavya Shivashankar, who was Momo’s choice to win the NSB. It’s a savvy pick, as the profile highlights Kavya’s dedication to her studies, her caring nature, and her passions for dancing and music, in addition to spelling. Apparently though, Kavya never found time to read The Da Vinci Code, because she misspells the word cilice (an undergarment of rough material worn as penance).

8:38: Claire Zhang misspells urgrund (a primal cause).
8:45: 13-year-old Nithya Vijayakumar misses pelorus (a navigational instrument).
8:58: 14-year-old Amy Chyao misses grognard (an old soldier).

And the Bee keeps swinging that hammer.

9:12: Nate Gartke is playing the “easy-going, non-threatening Canadian” role to perfection. With every turn, he saunters up to the mic in an almost bashful manner, spells his word correctly, then gives a big smile and friendly wave to the crowd while returning to his chair. Clearly, he’s been very well-coached by the Maple Leaf Project. As he rolls through abseil (a type of mountaineering descent) and rognon (a small rounded rock mass), I’m starting to get worried all over again.

(Evan and Nate)

9:20: Connor Spencer misspells cachalot (a sperm whale), immediately followed by Matthew Evans misspelling fauchard (a long-handled medieval weapon). The pressure has been ratcheted up so much, and the words have become so difficult at this point, I don’t think it’s accurate to say the Bee’s using a hammer anymore – it seems like sometime around 9:15, it switched to a fauchard. Kids are dropping left and right.

9:51: All but one, that is. Evan O’Dorney is in the zone: his face is expressionless, his voice is unwavering, and he’s cool under pressure as he rattles off schuhplattler (a Bavarian courtship dance) and laquear (a recessed panel). And once Isabel Jacobsen misspells cyanophycean (a blue-green alga), Evan is the last kid standing to defend the Stars and Stripes. We’re down to the final two – Nate and Evan - at the start of Round 10.

10:06: The kids trade correct answers for two rounds, before Nate is the first to falter, stumbling on coryza (an inflammatory respiratory disease) in Round 12. Canadian to a fault, he shrugs his shoulders and keeps a smile on his face as he sits down with his parents, and watches Evan step to center stage.

10:07: Evan correctly spells serrefine (a small surgical forceps), and claims the 2007 National Spelling Bee title!

After defeating 285 other competitors (not to mention vanquishing the Maple Leaf Project for yet another year), you’d think Evan would be ecstatic. Instead, he barely cracks a smile while lifting the trophy. This kid's exhausted. Whoever says the Spelling Bee isn’t an endurance sport is simply out of his mind.

10:09: You know how right after you finish a tough marathon, the first thought that goes through your mind is “I’m never doing this again.”? Apparently the NSB has the same affect on these kids – because during the post-Bee interview, a clearly dazed Evan states that he’s never really enjoyed spelling.

You can forgive the champion for being a bit delirious. And like the marathon runner who eventually returns to the roads, it’s a good bet that he’ll probably look over his spelling lists from time to time in the future. He’s not eligible to enter the NSB anymore, but the event will undoubtedly occupy a special place in his heart, and he’ll probably maintain his interest in the Bee for many years to come.

Likewise, I’ll do the same. But right now, I'm off to get some sleep. Six hours of blogging is enough to wear a guy out.

***
Read previous editions of this series on sidebar at right

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Great Moments in Spelling (Part III)

Yahoo! It’s go-time at the National Spelling Bee! Sure, I couldn’t watch the preliminary rounds on live TV, but when I got home, I had an appropriate gift awaiting me; my pre-ordered copy of American Bee: The National Spelling Bee and the Culture of Word Nerds, the new book by James Maguire, arrived at my house just in time for this year’s contest. Now in addition to six televised hours of the competition, I've got another 10 hours or more of reading all about the Bee. Sometimes circumstances fall into place just perfectly.

So here’s my running diary of the 2006 NSB. ESPN picks up the action in Round 4, where 86 spellers remain. To keep everyone from getting confused, all times listed are from the West Coast broadcast, instead of when I actually watched them.

9:01 AM: From the Grand Hyatt Ballroom in Washington DC, it’s the 79th Annual Scripps National Spelling Bee! Our hosts for this morning are Chris McKendry and Paul Loeffler, 13th place finalist in the 1990 Bee. What – former champion Katie McCrimmon wasn’t available this year? And the best substitute we could find was a 13th place finisher? If we can’t have a past champion, at least give us Paula Abdul to tell the contestants how beautiful and adorable they are. One minute into the broadcast, and I’m already a little disappointed. (Um...not that I’m picky.)

9:20: 13-year old Marissa Lyn Estep and head pronouncer Dr Jacques Bailly take multiple turns clearing their throats and bringing up phlegm attempting a proper pronunciation of the word echt (genuine). It’s the Bee equivalent of watching marathon runners pee on the side of the road – a behavior which under normal circumstances is considered revolting and rude, but within the context of the event nobody is offended. Finally, after pronouncing the word properly, Marissa asks the most obvious question of the day: “Is this word German?”, giving everyone a nice laugh. It’s high comedy at the Scripps Bee, and we’re just getting started.

9:38: There are 14 Canadian spellers in this year’s Bee. This whole Canadian invasion took me by surprise. Apparently we allow any English-speaking kids into our national bee. Do other countries extend this same courtesy to us? How many kids out there have dual spelling bee citizenships? And how come almost all of the foreigners are Canadian – there really weren’t any British kids out there who could make the cut? The Brits are complete language snobs; I’m sure if Eton or Andover knew about this contest, they’d send a whole squad of ringers across the pond.

9:40: 14-year-old Finola Hackett from Tofield, Ontario is the two-time Canadian champ, which brings up an intriguing idea: How about rounding up the best spellers from all the English-speaking countries, and having them face off in a World Series of Spelling? These kids are the same age as the gymnasts at the Olympics. I just don’t understand why spelling hasn’t been awarded Olympic status yet.

9:42: 12-year-old Leslie Alix Newcombe from Don Mills, Ontario is the second Canadian speller in Round 5. As she says “zed” at the end of her correct spelling of ersatz (substitute, synthetic), there’s a long pause as the judges glance back and forth at each other. A few seconds later they remember: “zed” is how Canucks say “z”. See, this multinational thing has everybody else screwed up, too.

9:46: Hey – a Big Sur Marathon reference! 11-year-old Anqi Dong of Saskatoon draws the word nepenthe (something capable of relieving grief or suffering). There’s a day spa named Nepenthe in Big Sur, near the point where the buses turn around before dropping runners off. Take that, Boston – I’ll bet the word “Hopkinton” never makes the Bee.

10:20: The bell they use to signal missed words seems a little antiquated. Remember the spelling bee in the old Charlie Brown special called Snoopy Come Home? Whenever a kid missed a word, he or she immediately disappeared off the screen with the sound of a bubble popping. We have the technology to do this for real, don’t we? Imagine how cool it would be if, instead of the bell that signals a misspelling, the kid just vanished from the TV screen. I’m thinking of this as Chris Buchanan misses torrone (a candy made of honey and almonds).

10:34: Nidharsham Anandasivam requests one minute of “bonus time” pondering the word physis (the source of growth or change inherent in nature). Every contestant is entitled to one additional minute if they can’t spell their word in the allotted time – basically, they get one minute for free. You know, if I had one minute of bonus time at this year’s Big Sur Marathon, I would have broken three hours. Not that I’m still thinking about that.

Sometime after 12:00 PM: What? The biggest moment of this year’s Bee is completely missed by ESPN: after they cut away to SportsCenter at the top of the hour, 12-year-old Samir Patel is eliminated from the contest. A 4-time Bee finalist and last year’s runner-up, Samir was the odds-on favorite to win this year. Unfortunately, he couldn’t make it through Round 7, and won’t even appear in the prime time broadcast. (At home that night, I feel the same way I felt watching the Athens Olympics, waiting to see Alan Webb in prime time coverage of the 1500m, only to find out he didn’t even make it out of the qualifying heats. I'm not kidding - missing Samir is just as disappointing.)

Anyway, it’s been a busy morning after 7 rounds, and 13 spellers remain. It’s time for a break. See you in prime-time.

8:00 PM: The moment has finally arrived: Welcome to the first-ever prime time coverage of the National Spelling Bee!

8:01: After an opening montage, the first image from the Ballroom is the 13 remaining spellers huddling in a circle, holding their hands in the middle, then cheering “1-2-3-spell!” Let me put it this way...what if all the competitors in the Olympic 5K final stood at the side of the track, held hands, and cheered “1-2-3-run!” How corny would that look? That’s exactly how this photo-op cheer comes across. Remember what I said about ABC making unnecessary changes? 1 minute into the broadcast, here is Exhibit A.

8:05: Now it’s definitely a big-time event: For its prime time coverage, ABC has replaced Chris McKendry with Robin Roberts. Remember when Robin was a SportsCenter anchor on ESPN? One of her catch phrases was “Go on with your bad self!” Maybe if some kid does the fist-pump-to-chest or does a jersey pull after spelling a word correctly, she’ll use the phrase tonight. Unfortunately, these kids are either too classy or too oblivious to even know what a jersey pull is, let alone to do one at the prime time Bee. What a missed opportunity.

8:07: As the camera pans across the faces of each seated competitor, most of them give a little wave or nervous smile. Not Rajiv Tarigopula. The 13-year-old from St Louis stares down the camera with his best sneer. He’s like Ivan Drago staring down Rocky Balboa and saying, “I must break you.” The broadcasters mention that with the elimination of Samir Patel, Rajiv is now the favorite to win this year’s Bee.

8:45: After Finola correctly spells formenkreis (a species with many subdivisions), Paul Loeffler tells us, “She has the weight of a country riding on her shoulders,” and later in the competition says she “has the attention of her whole nation.” Um, really? Aren’t the Edmonton Oilers in the NHL Finals right now? Are more Canadians concerned with the bee than winning the Stanley Cup? Is Finola more popular than the hockey team in her hometown, which is a suburb of Edmonton? If she wins, will they engrave her name on the championship cup like the Oilers will on Lord Stanley’s? Actually, the trophies look remarkably similar. This is making me nervous. I think I’m pulling for the American kids now.

9:01: The kids seem to be getting an awful lot of French and German words thrown at them in this year’s Bee. Which leads me to wonder: do bees in other countries borrow Americanized words to puzzle their finalists? Are there kids in France or Germany who are memorizing lists with words like crunk, hollaback, and bootylicious? For some reason, that would make me happy if they were – especially after Nidharshan is eliminated by paillon (a thin sheet of metallic foil).

9:24: It’s cool that Finola is doing so well, but here’s the thing: She’s had a remarkable number of French-origin words (guilloche, douane, machicotage, esquisse) in succession to get her through the later rounds. Isn’t French like a second language in Canada? I mean, if I entered a Bee and drew a list of words like anaerobic, fartlek, aquaphor, and Gallowalk, wouldn’t I have pretty good shot at advancing? Although all of these kids are enormously well-prepared, there’s certainly a “luck of the draw” element to this event.

(And I’m not one to suggest a conspiracy at play here, but head pronouncer Jacques Bailly also happens to be of French descent. To recap, that’s a French judge giving French words to a French-speaking contestant. Just thought it merited mentioning.)

9:36: Everyone in the Grand Hyatt Ballroom is stunned. Rajiv can’t nail the correct spelling of heiligenschein (a light around someone’s head caused by diffraction of light), and is out of the competition. Rajiv clearly thought he would win. The broadcasters thought Rajiv would win. Millions of television viewers thought Rajiv would win. Heck, even the other spellers thought he would win. He gets a standing ovation before leaving the stage. But now the most talented competitor who was the clear favorite has been eliminated in the final four…and all of a sudden I’m having these crazy Chris Daughtry flashbacks. You know, it's possible that I've been watching too much TV lately.

9:46: Saryn Hooks misspells icteritious (of a jaundiced color), and we’re down to the final two: Kerry Close and Finola Hackett. USA vs. Canada. This is the matchup everybody wanted in the Olympic hockey tournament four months ago, but never got to see. Now two eighth-graders are left to duke it out for national bragging rights. Hey, kids, no pressure here or anything – it’s just a letdown to your entire country if you lose. Have fun in Round 15.

9:58: During these final rounds, Finola has slowly won over a large percentage of the crowd. Maybe the audience is hoping she’ll be another Tanith Belbin: she’s very pretty, she’s incredibly talented, and if we cheer for her loud enough, maybe she’ll defect to the United States a couple of months before next year’s Bee.

10:04: After sailing through round after round of French words, Finola meets her match in the German weltschmerz (a type of emotional depression). She heads back to her seat with a dejection and dismay. She couldn’t spell the word, but now she’s actively demonstrating it. Unfortunately, the national Charades championship isn’t for another few weeks. On the bright side, I’m positive that the Oilers will honor her between periods at a hockey game this week.

10:08: The audience lets out a collective gasp when Dr Bailly announces the final word ursprache (a parent language). Will German words knock out both of the top spellers? Considering the moment, Kerry Close appears relatively unruffled, and after a few deep breaths, spells the word correctly to claim the championship.


She immediately backs away from the microphone, hands clasped over her mouth in astonishment, and runs off stage to hug her parents. No chest pounding, no jersey pull – just a classy reaction from a gifted girl. She’s a picture of joy as the MC comes over and helps her raise the champion’s cup – the cup that’s staying in America for at least another year.

So tell me: where else but the Bee would international intrigue and nail-biting competition go hand in hand with pre-teen awkwardness and obscure academia? Year after year, the NSB consistently delivers the goods. That's why I'll be watching again next year.

And it's crazy, but usually I get the same kind of weltschmerz after the National Bee that I do after my favorite races, in that I know I have to wait another full year to experience it once again. This time though, I don't feel quite as depressed, because I have my own personal nepenthe: a great new book to help soften the blow.

So now if you'll excuse me, I have some reading I'd like to do.


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