Now a Triathlete

In the previous post, I described how I was once a runner who came into possession of a somewhat valuable book, but have since become a triathlete who is more concerned with getting a significant bang for his buck.

My new toy from OneTri arrived this week. But first, indulge me in a brief background story of how it came to pass.

A little over a year ago, I received an e-mail from a guy named Jerry who was starting a new triathlon-related business, and wanted to discuss a sponsorship with me.

Now, I’ve never been sponsored for anything, except for my Catholic confirmation about 25 years ago – which, as any of my remaining Catholic family members will quickly tell you, didn’t end very well. So the idea of someone sponsoring me in pursuit of something I actually enjoyed sounded pretty nice.

The agreement wasn’t anything flashy – basically, he asked if I’d put his logo on my sidebar, in exchange for discounted merchandise. Since I had plenty of room on my sidebar (note to any other companies out there: I still do!), it seemed like an easy enough request to fulfill.

For one reason or another, I never really took him up on the reciprocal offer. And then this crazy Once a Runner thing happened like $250 falling out of the sky, and I figured it was a great opportunity to address a glaring need in my tri-gear inventory.

So I contacted Jerry again, and he assured me that our deal was still on. That’s when I ordered this:


It’s my new Zoot Z1 wetsuit. Actually, that’s not quite accurate: it’s my new Z1 WetZOOT. Seriously – it says so right here. I still have to get used to that.

The suit (sorry – I mean zoot) retails for almost $450, and OneTri had already discounted it to $314 on their website. Then Jerry hooked me up with another discount on top of that - I won’t tell you how much, but let’s just say that you probably couldn’t buy dinner with my outstanding balance after putting down that initial two-fifty.

It’s far and away the best deal I’ve received in a long time, so as you can guess, I’m a big OneTri fan right now. I know you have a lot of choices when it comes to buying tri-gear online, but do Jerry and me a favor and add OneTri to your list of bookmarked sites the next time you’re shopping around.

Now, as far as the wetZoot goes ….

This is the first tri-specific suit I’ve ever owned. Somehow I managed to muddle through my first decade as a triathlete either borrowing suits from friends, or using my surfing wetsuit (along with an insane amount of Bodyglide – I could tell you horror stories). So maybe the arrival of this wetZoot signifies my arrival as a completely self-sufficient triathlete, or something symbolic like that. Then again, maybe it just feels cool to finally have one of my own.

I didn’t get around to trying the zoot on until after our kids were asleep, so I spent a few minutes squirming into it in the living room while my wife and I were catching up on TV. Once I finally put it on, we had the following exchange:

Me: So what do you think?

Her: (staring, pensive)

Me: What?

Her: It makes you look kind of hot.

And that comment alone was enough to justify the purchase.

The zoot hasn’t seen one drop of water yet, and it’s already paying dividends that I can’t put a dollar amount on. Now I’m trying to come up with more excuses to put it on at night – I figure I can only get away with “double-checking the fit” about 2 or 3 more times before she starts to get suspicious.

Unfortunately, I’ll have to wait several months before I learn if the zoot performs as well in the water as it does in the living room. But I figure I’ll get a whole lot of action out of it (still talking about the water) for several years to come. Plus, I won’t have to badger my friends anymore, and I’ll probably save an awful lot of money on Bodyglide.

All of which makes for a pretty good outcome, when you consider that the whole thing started with the sale of a used paperback book.

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Once a Book Owner

A couple of administrative notes before today’s post …

First, I got tagged again (this time by Mark) to write about memorable moments from 2007. Since it took me almost a month to respond to the tag I did two weeks ago, it should go without saying that you’d better not hold your breath waiting for this one – but I’ll get to it eventually.

It got me to thinking, though – shouldn’t there be some sort of policy like they have for jury duty, where you don’t have to answer a tag if you’ve done one in the previous 12 months? Maybe one of the lawyers out there can draft something up for us.

Second – and I’m almost too embarrassed to report this – I screwed up some words in the Rolling Stones lyrics that introduced the previous post. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you how seriously I take the accuracy of song lyrics - I feel like a pastor who forgot the words to the Our Father. I've already fixed the mistake - but this was incredibly sloppy work on my part, and completely inexcusable. One week into 2008, and I’m already having a Britney Spears moment. Somebody call Dr Phil.

OK, time to move on. Here’s the post …

**

"What was the secret, they wanted to know; in a thousand different ways they wanted to know The Secret. And not one of them was prepared, truly prepared to believe that it had not so much to do with chemicals and zippy mental tricks as with that most unprofound and sometimes heart-rending process of removing, molecule by molecule, the very tough rubber that comprised the bottoms of his training shoes. The Trial of Miles, Miles of Trials. How could they be expected to understand that?""
- from Once a Runner, by John L. Parker


Even before I read it, I felt like I knew all about Once a Runner.

John Parker’s 1978 novel about fictional miler Quenton Cassidy has struck an emotional chord with runners ever since its first publication. It was groundbreaking in the way it accurately captured the competitive running experience – likely because the author was a collegiate runner himself. His physical descriptions of extreme exertion, as well as all of the complex psychological forces at work in the mind of a runner, are portrayed in vivid detail throughout the story.

Through the years, the book has remained a topic of discussion among countless training groups, and it was in this manner that I heard about many of the scenes and plot twists prior to the day about 15 years ago when I walked into my local running store in Chapel Hill, NC, and paid $9.95 for my own copy to read.

I paged through it in a couple of weeks, and found it fairly enjoyable; Cassidy was a character with whom I could identify on many levels, and I recalled some of the memorable scenes and phrases - such as the introductory quote above - during several of my own training runs that followed. But I can’t really say it was a life-changing experience on any significant level.

Afterward, I placed it on my bookshelf, and went on about my business. In the years that followed, I’d occasionally see or hear something to remind me of the story, but I never thought much of it beyond that. Never, that is, until last month, when one of my training partners started this exchange:

Him: Hey, do you still have your copy of Once a Runner?

Me: Yeah, it’s on my bookshelf at home. Do you want to borrow it?

Him: No – I’m trying to find my old copy so that I can sell it. They’re going for about 300 bucks on eBay right now.

Me: What? Really? How come?

When I returned home that morning, I did some checking, and my friend was exactly right. Apparently, over the past decade, several factors I had never imagined happening conspired to make my 10-dollar book a highly sought-after collectible item.

The first was that, after six editions, publication of the book stopped in 1999, making copies scarce – and perhaps as a result, Once a Runner took on an almost folkloric mystique. Those who had read the book would enrapture newcomers with the story, like apostles spreading the gospel of Quenton Cassidy one runner at a time.

Parker himself unwittingly helped the cult-like phenomena develop, as he made like J.D. Salinger after the novel’s release. During nearly 30 years of silence, he became known as the guy who caught literary lightning in a bottle. His seclusion and resistance to write any follow-up works made his admirers even more fervent in their adoration of his singular novel.

This fall, the often-rumored and long-awaited event finally happened: Parker released a follow-up novel, titled Again to Carthage. Before long, a new generation of fans started hearing about the reclusive genius who wrote the best running novel of all time, and set out to find copies of the first work.

The only problem is, there aren’t many to be found. It’s the perfect storm of frenzied interest and scarce commodities – and it’s why used books are selling online for hundreds of dollars.

Amid such hysteria, the simple fact most commonly overlooked is this: the book’s not that great. It's certainly decent, but not good enough to justify such overzealous devotion. So when I heard that the one-inch thick space holder gathering dust on my bookshelf was worth a lot of money, I didn’t hesitate to start a listing on eBay. A few days later, I received a deposit of 250 dollars into my PayPal account.

Such a move might sound like sacrilege to devotees of the book, but for me, it was a no-brainer. The list of books that I go back and read more than once is extremely short, and certainly doesn’t include Once a Runner. And I’ve never bought into the notion that books are for displaying on shelves – I feel like they are meant to be read, and shared, and read again. I frequently loan out running books to training partners, and don’t really care if I ever see them again. So the idea that someone would pay me a lot of money to permanently borrow a book sounded pretty enticing.

Besides … did I mention that I got 250 bucks? That’s a pretty good chunk of dough – especially for something that I paid 10 dollars for and then largely forgot about. I took my newfound income shopping online at OneTri, and came away with something that I’ll use a lot more often than the 15-year old book used to purchase it (and that’s all I’m saying for now - but when it arrives, I’ll let you know).

Finally, if anyone out there is looking for this book with the impression that it’s some sort of sacred text, let me assure you that you’re not missing anything monumental by not reading it. Wait a few months or years until some publishing company recognizes the demand (in fact, as more book owners are realizing the opportunity, the market has already stabilized a bit - as of today, most used copies are selling for closer to $200) and starts mass producing copies again, then go pay normal retail price for it like I did. I’m sure you have better ways to spend that kind of money.

In the meantime, if you want to experience the feelings and emotions of running , here’s The Secret: go outside and start the unprofound process of wearing down, molecule by molecule, the tough rubber on the bottom of your training shoes. In doing so, I expect that most of you will be able to understand.

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Sympathy for the Slacker

“Just as every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners saints –
As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer, ‘cause I’m in need of some restraint.”
- The Rolling Stones, “Sympathy for the Devil”

*
I don’t necessarily mind being a role model to someone – as long as he or she sees the bad along with the good. That was the intent of this week’s Monterey Herald column, co-written by my friend Mike.

As I indicated before, the column is generally targeted toward newbie runners, whose ranks tend to swell at this time of year. And – for reasons I’ll never fully understand – seeing my picture in the paper twice per month occasionally makes people think that I’m some kind of authority figure or role model in regards to training.

The problem, of course, is that I’m frequently guilty of some of the worst habits imaginable. I blow off workouts, spend way too much time watching TV - not to mention blogging - and can make a stack of cookies disappear faster than my favorite character on Sesame Street (who, in newly introduced “healthy habits” segments last year, has been seen eating vegetables so that he doesn’t set a bad example. Am I the only one who thinks that we’re needlessly sucking the joy out of being a kid nowadays? It’s not like Cookie Monster is Public Enemy #1 when it comes to childhood obesity. But that’s a whole separate post.).

To some extent, these are issues that all of us face on a regular basis. Just as every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners saints, so too is every triathlete a slacker in certain ways, at certain times. And that’s the point of our column: you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be good more often than you’re bad.

***
Running Life 1/3/08 "Having a Bad Day"

Wait! Don’t tell us – you made a resolution to lose weight and get healthy this year. Now it’s less than one week into 2008 and you’re already struggling and having second thoughts.

Everybody sabotages their fitness plans from time to time – even your local running columnists. So we’re not going to beat you over the head this week about all the reasons you should be running.

Instead, we’re going to take you through a typical day, and show you just how many opportunities there are to screw things up. Remember the Daniel Powter song called “You Had a Bad Day”? Here’s a small sampling of the ways you can neglect your fitness plan during the course of 24 hours:

*
Last night, you ambitiously set your alarm 30 minutes early in order to exercise before your work day. But when the alarm goes off, the bed feels so warm and comfortable that you hit the snooze button to linger a bit longer. 10 minutes later, you do the same thing again. And later on, once more. So much for morning exercise.

As you shower, you tell yourself that you’ll compensate by hitting the gym at lunchtime, so you pack a duffel bag with workout clothes and figure you’re still right on track for fitness.

You’re running a bit behind, and you really aren’t too hungry, so you hurry out the door without eating breakfast. But you’re not fully alert yet, so you swing by Starbucks for a little pick-me-up. You received a gift card for Christmas, so it’s not like you’re spending real money.

You order a grande caramel macchiato and a big cranberry muffin. It’s fine, because you skipped breakfast – and now you’re at the top of your game.

Arriving at work, you park as close as possible to the building and take the elevator up to the 2nd floor. You stow your duffel bag and sit down at your computer and catch up on e-mail. 90 minutes later, your office neighbor comes by with some leftover Christmas cookies that his spouse made. (He’s getting rid of them because he resolved to eat healthier in 2008.)

You smell the cookies and realize how hungry you are. So you grab a few cookies, which is OK because they’re little ones, and because you didn’t eat breakfast. You eat one of them now, and put the others on your desk to save for the afternoon. 10 minutes later, those are gone as well.

At 11:30 your coworkers stop by to invite you out to lunch with them. You stare at your duffel bag for about 2 seconds before agreeing. It’s OK, because you might be able to quit work a bit early and go for a quick run before going home.

You go to your favorite restaurant and order a large meal, since you’re still catching up from breakfast. It’s OK to eat big though, because you’ve started a fitness program, and you’ll burn all those calories off soon enough.

During meetings and phone calls after lunch, you gradually feel your energy level wavering. At 3:00 it seems like a good time to visit your coworker who always keeps a bowl of Reese’s mini Peanut Butter cups at his desk. It’s OK, because those are your favorite candy.

You talk to him a bit and idly eat 3 minis, then decide to grab a couple more as you head back to your desk, which is OK, since they’re minis. You sit back down with renewed energy, a smile on your face, and a bit of chocolate on your cheek.

You finish the work day make it all the way to your car before you realize that you left the duffel bag in your office. At this point, it’s a total hassle to go back inside to get it, since you’d have to wait for the elevator, then say goodnight to everyone all over again. Besides, you figure that traffic is crazy, so you don’t really have any extra time to work out. It’s OK, because you’ll have three chances to exercise tomorrow.

On your way home, you call your family, and decide that it would be a lot easier to go out for pizza instead of cooking dinner tonight – so you meet them at the pizza parlor.

You have 3 pieces of pepperoni pizza, 2 pieces of garlic bread and a glass of red wine. It’s OK, because garlic and wine are good for your heart, and because you’re going to skip the spumoni dessert.

At home you spend two hours sitting on the couch, catching up on TV and reviewing the newspaper and magazine articles about exercise that you’ve been collecting.

As you climb into bed, you try to get a little loving from your spouse, but she complains that you smell like garlic. So you go into the kitchen and have a big bowl of ice cream. It’s OK, because ice cream is your comfort food – and besides, you’re going to set your alarm early tomorrow to start exercising.

*
So you had a bad day. These things happen to all of us. The trick is to make sure it doesn’t become a cycle that repeats itself day after day.

Bad days don’t become perfect ones overnight, and fitness doesn’t happen immediately. Changes are small, and gradual, and usually happen one at a time. But if you dedicate yourself to achieving them, you’ll gradually make big improvements over the course of the year.

We hope that your 2008 is filled with many more good days than bad ones.

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Regarding Linus

“What if I say I’m not like the others –
What if I say I’m not just another … “
- Foo Fighters, “The Pretender” (on sidebar)

*
In the fall of 1965, cartoonist Charles Schulz agreed to create an animated Christmas special featuring the characters from his Peanuts comic strip. At several points during the process, he nearly abandoned the task.

Schulz had several items of concern during the creative process. It was the first animated special he had attempted, and he was apprehensive about how his characters would transition from their customary comic strip stills into dynamic animation. He struggled to match the children available for voice work with each individual character. He had a shoestring budget which resulted in disjointed production and substandard sound mixing.

But mostly, he was concerned that his primary message would be neglected.

The video clip from my Christmas Eve post was the most contentious point between Schulz and the CBS executives in charge of the project. Schulz was adamant that no Christmas special would be complete without a Biblical reference to the birth of Jesus; the networks feared that such an overt religious gesture would anger viewers.

Schulz stubbornly stood his ground, even when threatened with cancellation of the program. The network eventually conceded the point, and prepared for a storm of criticism, figuring they’d cut their losses on what they presumed would be a one-time presentation.

Of course, Linus’s monologue was widely praised by both critics and viewers, and stands today as the centerpiece of one of the most beloved Christmas specials of all time. It’s a moment of lasting significance that distinguished A Charlie Brown Christmas from the rapidly growing crowd of simplistic holiday fare. It also marks the point at which Charles Schulz definitively found his voice.

Unfortunately, finding a voice is never as easy as it appears, and creating lasting significance among the commonplace is even more elusive. These are some of the considerations I’ve been pondering lately in regards to this blog.

Those of us who participate in this medium come to it for a wide variety of reasons. We may want a place to document our progression through training programs (or through life in general), a forum to express our viewpoint or feelings about our circumstances, or merely an outlet to unload whatever thoughts are cluttering our heads.

However varied they may be, most of our reasons tend to be relatively self-serving. We’re each the master of our own microuniverse, free to write or rant or ramble about absolutely anything, and to do so on our own terms. Whether or not anyone actually cares is a secondary concern.

The irony is that despite our varied intentions, many of us end up sounding dreadfully similar. After all, there are only so many ways to describe the miles we run or laps we swim or roads we ride on – and the more endurance blogs you surf through, the harder those reports are to distinguish.

(On a somewhat related note - it’s probably no coincidence that I love folks like Stronger and Craig and Susanna: people who bring a unique perspective to this strange little community of ours, and share their stories in a way that is more insightful than simple mileage and workout sessions.)

So my ambition for the upcoming year is to make like Charles Schulz. I want to provide something beyond reporting about my training for upcoming races. I want to offer occasional moments of importance, and hopefully establish some greater meaning that stands out from this otherwise trivial existence. I want to find my voice.

The hard part is that I’m not sure exactly what that means. It’s quite likely that I already have a voice – one of an idiot who completely overanalyzes things. And I can’t simply switch personas and try to be someone I’m not (in other words, don’t worry - you’ll still find plenty of ridiculous stuff around here). I guess all I’m really committing myself to is doing the same things I’m already doing, but with a higher purpose in mind.

I’m challenging myself to grow: to find more significance in my everyday observations, to willingly profess the values and ideals I believe in, and to somehow, in some small way, improve the lives of those with whom I cross paths.

It seems like an ambitious standard to maintain – and that’s why today seems like the right day to proclaim it.

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Shopping and Rambling

"I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks … One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a pair. People will insist on giving me books."
- Albus Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, By J.K. Rowling

*
In my Christmas Eve post, I mentioned that I had a whole essay to go along with that Peanuts video clip. After kicking it around for a while, I decided that a lot of the thoughts I had actually tie in fairly nicely with the New Year’s theme as well – so I’m going to tinker with it a bit and hopefully post it here sometime next week.

In the meantime, I’m long overdue in answering Momo's tag to list five random things about me. When you think about it, it’s kind of crazy that I’ve put it off this long – after all, I write about random things here just about every week. I guess what I was lacking was a coherent theme or unifying idea – something an English teacher once told me I should always strive for. (Right after she told me to never end a sentence in a preposition – but whatever.)

Since this is historically the week for returning and exchanging gifts, or buying the things you didn’t get but really wanted, I decided to do a list of random things with a shopping theme. I’d tell you that this list is worth the wait, but I respect you too much to lie that blatantly. It might, however, be worth the next few minutes of your time – especially if it’s a slow week at work for you like it is for me. Off we go …

1. If it weren’t for eBay, I probably couldn’t afford to be a triathlete. But Thank God that it exists, because I must buy more than 50% of my workout gear there. Clothing, shoes, gadgets, you name it – eBay is the first place I shop.

Remember a few years back, when Jeff Bezos was Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for his development of Amazon.com? Well, the lady who introduced eBay (Meg Whitman) deserves at least a similar honor – in fact, the Person of the Year title seems a bit limiting. Is it too late to give her a Nobel Prize for economics? After all, she’s completely revolutionized the way public and private sellers do business, distilled capitalism into a microcosm that is understandable (not to mention accessible and operable) even to grade-school kids, and kept me outfitted in triathlon gear for the past five years. OK, that last item isn’t exactly Nobel-worthy – but it’s just as important to me.

And while we’re on the subject, I’ve got two more eBay-related items:

2. This month, I sold a running-related listing on eBay for 25 times the amount that I paid for it several years ago. That’s no exaggeration: 25 times my original purchase price. I’ll tell the full story here sometime next month – but is it any wonder that I’m in love with eBay lately?

3. You know how everyone says that it’s critically important to support your local running and/or bike store? Well, as a general rule, I don’t support mine – and I don’t feel the least bit of remorse about it.

I mean, sure - I could drive 20 minutes to browse through a fraction of the training gear and shoe models that are available to me online, then spend twice the amount of money to buy them … but I’d really rather not. And I’ve had some awful customer service experiences at these stores that I’ll spare you the trouble of recounting here.

(The one exception to this item was when I bought my tri bike – but even then, I had to drive over an hour to find a store that had heard of Cervelos. Let’s just say Monterey County isn’t exactly the Boulder of the West Coast.)

Don’t weep for my running store, though – it does pretty well selling high-end outdoor wear and athletic shoes to Pebble Beach soccer moms who want to look sporty when picking their kids up from private schools. It's survived without my business for almost five years now, so I’m sure it will continue along just fine.

4. Last week, my mother-in-law gave me a very nice cotton sweater as a Christmas gift. Unfortunately, it didn’t fit, so I took it back to the outdoor store where she purchased it, only to find that they didn’t carry any more of those sweaters in my size. I looked around for various garments to exchange it for, but wasn’t really blown away by any other styles – so I ended up buying some trail running socks.

But here’s the funny part: I was just as happy to have the socks as I was with the sweater. One can never have enough good, sturdy trail socks. And I’m a pretty simple guy to please.

(And yes, I immediately thought of the Dumbledore quote above. I honestly don’t have to look far for these things – they usually just fall right in my lap. I like to think of it as a gift.)

5. With the exception of a few children’s videos, my wife and I never, ever, ever purchase DVDs for our own viewing interests. We're pretty much oblivious to current movie releases, and even when we rent something we enjoy, we never have the time to watch anything more than once. So we’ve never seen the point of buying videos for just a single viewing.

That is, until the Season 3 release of Lost earlier this month. I’ve mentioned before that we’re totally hooked on this show; for the past week now, we’ve been plowing through episodes after the kids go to sleep. During our waking hours, we have conversations starting with questions like, Whose side is Juliet on, anyway? What’s the deal with Locke? Are all of the characters really dead? And why hasn’t Hurley lost any weight?

But like I said, we’re only going to watch these videos once – so if anyone is interested in buying a gently used set of Season 3 DVDs for 20 bucks, let me know. I'll even spring for the shipping charges. The first person to drop me an e-mail (on my profile page) gets it – and if I don’t hear from anyone, it’s going on eBay by the end of next week.

It won’t fetch me nearly as much profit as my previous eBay listing, but at least it will put a little more pocket change into my PayPal account. You know I’ll find a way to spend it soon enough.

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What It's All About

I actually had a whole post to write on the following video - but for today, I'll just let the clip stand on its own:



Merry Christmas to everyone.

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A Runner's Letter to Santa

As a point of clarification for people who have recently found this blog – I write a twice-monthly column for my hometown newspaper, the Monterey County Herald, on the subject of running. Most of the articles are fairly generic advice geared toward novice runners, but occasionally they take a more creative turn, or have a wider application to other sports. In those cases, I republish the articles here on my blog.

The following article is becoming an annual tradition, as this is the third such letter I’ve written. I figure as long as there’s a Santa Claus, it never hurts to ask for some things I’d like. And who knows – one of these years, I just might get everything I ask for.

**

TO: Santa Claus
LOCATION: North Pole

Dear Santa,

I hope this letter finds you well, and that your final preparations for Christmas Eve are going smoothly.

I’m the running columnist from Monterey County who wrote you last year with a wish list of things that could make me a better runner. I’ve had a pretty good year, Santa – but I’ve also seen a lot of things that make me sad about the sport, and I’m hoping that you could somehow help me. Incidentally, many other sports face the same problems that running does, so if you can fix these things, you’d have the admiration of millions of sports fans around the world. (Not that you don’t have that already).

I believe in you, Santa, and I want to believe in my sports also. Unfortunately, this seems harder to do with each passing year. In light of this, would the following things be too much to ask?

The excitement of true fans: I used to love watching national collegiate or professional championship events, world championships and Olympics – but in recent years, I’ve grown pretty jaded. I’m at the point where I don’t know whether or not to appreciate the feats I witness on the TV screen anymore. I used to watch with a sense of awe and wonder – but now I just wonder. Maybe it’s because I’m lacking …

Faith in hard work: When I watched sports as a kid, there was an underlying premise that success was available to anyone with God-given talent and the willingness to work hard toward his or her goals. But lately, as top-level athletes in every sport get busted for various forms of cheating, it seems like skills and dedication are only part of the equation. It also makes me lose my …

Belief in records: Here’s how bad things have become: whenever I see a record get broken, or witness a performance for the ages, my first reaction isn’t to say, “Wow, I’m watching history!”, but to ask, “I wonder what he’s using?” This happens with alarming frequency in nearly every sport. Who was the last truly clean 100-meter dash world record holder, Tour de France champion, or baseball home run king? Nobody knows for certain – which makes every current and future record a cause for skepticism rather than celebration.

(Considering the previous three items, another request comes to mind … Santa, I know it sounds kind of Grinchy - but is there any way you could put Barry Bonds in jail for a while? The folks in charge of things down here don’t appear to be making much progress. I know this one’s a longshot, but figured I may as well ask.)

You know what might help, Santa? Maybe if we could get some …

Honesty from cheaters: Last week my newspaper printed a “naughty” list of 85 baseball players who are thought to have used drugs. Some players said they didn’t know what they were taking, and others said they were just trying to recover from injuries. Guess how many admitted intentional wrongdoing, Santa? Precisely zero.

Just once – just one time – this year, I’d like to hear someone who tests positive for performance enhancing drugs come out and say, “OK - you caught me. I was cheating, and I was wrong to do it. I’m just trying to compete against a lot of other guys I know who are also on the juice – and here are their names. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it, and I’ll accept whatever punishment you decide is fair.” Could you imagine how refreshing that would be? What if we also had some …

Humility from professional athletes: Santa, don’t you think someone like Alex Rodriquez could just say, “You know what? I can live quite comfortably on $20 million per year instead of $27 million; why not use that leftover money to reduce admission prices by 10 bucks, or to give out free tickets to kids?”

Can you picture this? It could all be one small step towards restoring the notion of …

Athletes as role models: I’m thinking of runners in particular here. Remember a long time ago, when the most famous athletes in the world were Roger Bannister or Jim Ryun or Bill Rodgers? Nowadays, most people would have trouble naming an Olympic gold medalist in any distance event over the past 20 years. Running has completely fallen off the radar. But there are several young Americans today with world-class talent. Maybe if they become more popular, we might also see …

Respect for runners: It seems like there’s always been this notion that distance runners are the misfits of the athletic world, since they don’t often participate in more glamorous sports like football or basketball.

But take it from me, Santa: distance running is hard work. Cross-country is a brutal sport – and the runners are just as intense and competitive as any 220-pound linebacker. They push themselves beyond boundaries of pain that most other athletes dare not approach, and they do it almost anonymously. I’d just like more people to understand that.


Well, Santa, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Sorry to make this list so challenging, but I figured that I’d rather have some meaningful change than toys and gadgets that I don’t really need anyway. I know I can’t get everything I ask for, but anything you can do to make the world a better place for runners would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for your time, Santa. Have a safe flight on Christmas Eve!


Sincerely,

Donald B.
Carmel Valley, CA

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